» Say, "Who has feet that big??" when you see stockings.

» Curse the fool who invented wrapping paper. Or is that just me and my inability to wrap properly??

» Spike the eggnog, and drink about five cups. Stare quizzically at people and complain of too many blinking lights.

» Holler every hour or so, "I hear reindeer on the roof!"

» Marvel at the brightness of the color red.

» Tell carolers, "You people are so off-key, my cat is enjoying this."

» Threaten to wear mistletoe on your head for one week, while you attack people.

» Demand to know the nutritional value of fried oysters (Southern traditional Christmas food).

» Tell the little drummer boy/girl to "Play me some Metellica."

» Pretend you are a shepherd and tell people, "I must attend to my flock."

Happy Holidays! from Torifan