Things I've Learned from My Boys
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Things I've Learned from My Boys

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  • A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep.




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  • If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

  • A three-year old Boy's voice is louder in a crowded restaurant than 200 adults.

  • If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 foot room.

  • You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

  • The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

  • When you hear the toilet flush and the words uh oh, it's already too late.

  • Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

  • A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

  • Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

  • Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

  • Super glue is forever.

  • No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

  • Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

  • VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

  • Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

  • Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

  • You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

  • Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

  • The fire department in Batavia, IL has a 5-minute response time.

  • The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

  • It will, however, make cats dizzy.

  • Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

  • 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

  • Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
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    BRASSY BROADS: Quote of the Moment

    "A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense of everything else."

    ...actress Bette Davis

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